Down the long driveway, through the dark wood and into the clearing there is a tiny house......and that's where I'm currently staying. I know, it did sound like that was going to turn into a great story for a second. Sorry!
I've wanted to stay in a tiny house in the middle of the woods for awhile - just the appeal of simplicity, a change of scenery, solitude and anonymity.
*Sidebar - this is my first time using a compostable toilet. Outside of the incessant automatic desire to reach for the lever to flush, it's been pretty successful. 👍🏼
As life would have it, this was a last minute idea planned just a few days ago and as these trips would have it, intuition always seems to guide me where I need to be.
I haven't written anything for over a week. You know when you have a really energizing, productive and overall feel good week and then it is inevitably followed by a week that completely takes you the opposite direction?
I mean it takes you into a downward spiral of eating shit (that literally transforms into shit), feeling like a worthless, unmotivated piece of shit, looking like shit and ultimately spending 16 hours in front of the TV binge watching shows you would never normally watch and then not being able to sleep because your eyes have essentially turned into mini TV screens. Anyone know that state? Anyone?
Well I am desperately (and very slowly) trying to come out of that state. This tiny house is my attempt to force myself to do it. Ultimately I know that a location or change of scenery doesn't fix the deep emotional issues that cause me to get to this level of lowness, but damn, it certainly makes it easier.
Please DO NOT underestimate the impact of your surroundings. We encounter energy on a regular basis - our own, other people's, animals, space, sounds, food, everything. These things do not have to be bad but if you are in a drained space already (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually) all the daily things that usually aren't a problem, can quickly become a problem.
They might even make you start to feel a bit unhinged or crazy. They inevitably will make you start to feel like a complete asshole because the smallest, little thing can trigger you and then you lash out on the people nearest to you who didn't do anything. This is also why I am hiding in a tiny house in the woods this weekend; to spare those closest to me from the current wrath of me. Sometimes it's just necessary.
It also opens me up to see things like my friend, the upside down squirrel......
I'm writing in this little nook in front of the window of the tiny house with several bird feeders and it is quite lively. My favorite has been this chunky brown squirrel who attached himself to the side of the feeder and has been eating all the food (and dropping a lot of it onto the heads of his fellow squirrel friends below).
He is so dedicated he dangled upside down from the feeder to make sure he got every last bit of food and that's when we made eye contact; almost like he was trying to tell me something (or I am really going crazy and should consider living in the woods alone).🤷♀️
Here is how life sends you the messages you need when you pay attention:
I found myself fixated on the squirrel and felt joy watching him hang upside down, with such ease. So I dove a little deeper to realize that squirrels symbolize energy and playfulness - they are always playful, look like they never give a fuck and literally jump around like nothing is weighing them down.
Mr. Upside Down Squirrel is giving me the answer I need to get out of this funk (and reiterating the message I have been getting all week) - have more fun with your life right now!
So I am gonna play. I hope you find your own version of Mr. Squirrel today. 😚
Take care,
The Auryn
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