You know how some people really get into the new year and not necessarily making resolutions (I change my mind too frequently to commit to things that early in the year) but identifying things they might like to focus on for the year or maybe some stuff they would like to do or some shit they might want to get over? Well that's me in 2023 and I thought I would take it one step further because my brain likes detail and come up with a word I could focus on for the year. I don't want you to get the wrong idea and think that I just picked this word out thin air and went with it - I can't ever be that simple. I had to sit on it for a few weeks until I had an "aha" moment and felt like I finally found that right word.
It actually came to me while my sister and I were on what has now become an annual new year's eve trip - we like to get intentions ready for the new year, get rid of all the old shit holding us back, get into nature, eat good food and usually do something relaxing for ourselves - in Saratoga Springs, NY. They have mineral baths. We booked a massage with our bath. I was sitting in the tub (another location where magical thoughts happen for me) & things were getting all tingly and I had a thought: "I need to stop limiting myself with my own thoughts, ideas & barriers of what I am capable of, both mentally & physically. I need to find a word that means to be without limits......hmmmmm, what could that word be? LIMITLESS!" That was literally my thoughts process - it took that much thinking to remember that limitless was a word. This is my reminder to you that any sort of self awareness, spiritual work or just general self improvement doesn't have to be complicated, smart or grandiose - sometimes it is just talking to yourself in a tub because you can't find the right words to express your thoughts.
Fast forward a few days and I walked into a Target and on a display in the middle of the entrance was a neon pink sign with the word: LIMITLESS. It's now in my room & I rarely turn it off.
What I have discovered just in the last few weeks on my journey to be limitless is that the smallest things are actually where I need the most courage and what being limitless actually means to me now is finding a way to get back to the younger version of myself. This isn't to be confused with a desire to be young or that I would even consider wanting to go back and re-live my childhood.....I just don't want to over think every little thing that I want to do. I don't want to have all the negative thought patterns I have established as I have aged. I don't want to think about all the things that could go wrong or that my body night not be able to handle doing the things as well or I might not be good at it or I might look like a big-freakin'- idiot. I just want to do the things that excite me to do them & to have fun and to find joy and to bring that part of me back to the surface. Can anyone relate?
Here is a great example. Roller skating. Bought skates 2 years ago & know that I wasn't great at it back in the day. But what I also understand now about roller skating is that it is all about going with the flow, not being in complete control of your body or mind. Just flowing with the wheels that are unnaturally on your feet, moving with the music and moving. That's the freedom I need back. This blog might turn into a review of all the activities I tried or attempted to do for the sake of feeling limitless. Acting is another one that terrifies me, absolutely terrifies me as an adult. I jumped into that shit with no worries as a kid & the irony there is I was constantly type cast as the responsible adult; maybe I didn't get enough of that free flowing, non-worrying version of my life as a teenager so I am trying to make up for lost time, LOL.
This is only the beginning of the list of ways I intend to prove that I can be limitless & the only person I am trying to prove anything to is myself.
For good measure, this quote just popped up on my phone as I was wrapping up:
"Reset, restart, refocus. But don't you dare give up on your dreams."
Love,
The Auryn
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